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feelings – Nancy Klien
Thursday 6th May 2021 @ 9:35 am

 I am currently undertaking a Coaching course, which is being wonderful. One great tick for me, is learning the writings of Nancy Klien – here is a snippet of her thoughts on feelings. I find it exhilarating and challenging. 


“One seriously flawed piece of handed–down ‘wisdom’ is the idea that when you start to cry you are out of control, falling apart, sick, going over the edge (whatever that is) and should do just about anything to ‘pull yourself together’. 

Also outrageous is the list of things we are encouraged to do to ‘pull ourselves together’. We are sent off to isolate ourselves and repress; we are encouraged to put alcohol into our livers, or pour caffeine into our hearts; we are given nicotine to fill our lungs, or ice cream and cookies or ground cow muscle and deep–fried potatoes to fill our guts. These are all supposed to be fine. 

Crying, on the other hand – a genetically coded, wholly natural and intended means to rid the body of pain and toxicity – is not supposed to be fine. 

Where did we go wrong? We did not apply the same non–logic to any other natural release. We even have special rooms and designer decor and fragrant tissues for them. Perhaps we need feelings parlours, too, available whenever we are bombarded by pain and want a private environment in which to be embraced. Not a chance. 

Our society is terrified of tears, and of anger and fear. We have mixed up the release of pain with the cause of pain. Stop crying and you’ll stop hurting. Stop showing your anger and you’ll stop being angry. Stop shaking and you’ll stop being afraid. Just stop it. It doesn’t work. It never has. And not only does it not work – that is, stopping the release does not stop the pain (the pain just ‘goes underground’ and causes all sorts of neuroses and probably physical disease) – but, most important, repression of feeling represses clear thinking. It muddles the mind.”


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