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Wednesday 19th February 2020 @ 2:10 pm


The words of Caroline Flack are heartbreaking.






I hear similar words too often in my life as a college chaplain.

Not from a celebrity angle, but from everyday honest humans.




Life ‘as was’ being ripped away.

Emotional pain.



Suicide is too common.

And it is Increasing.


Every single time I have to be around families and friends of a loved one, I want to say things which are completely pastorally insensitive. 


to date,

I have not lost the run of myself in that moment.


But every single time, I want to tell family and friends of loved ones who have taken their lives,

“I just wish they could see you now. See what they have done to you.”


Completely insensitive. I know

Dismissive of mental health. Definitely

Not helpful. Absolutely.

But honest – yes.


The pain of suicide is pain passed on. It is not an end.

It is passed to those left. It is not an answer.


What have friends and family of loved ones bereaved by suicide have said to me over the years?

“I just wish he had picked up the phone”

“I have no judgement. I just wish she had told me”

“I wish he had stayed rather than ran”

“I wish she had shared more with me”

“I never knew”


I do not mean to be dismissive, I really don’t.


Most of us know the intrusive thoughts that can spiral out of control, and have had to catch ourselves before thoughts lead to harmful actions.


But suicide needs big conversations,

honest conversations

raw conversations,

sad conversations,

because it is becoming a legitimate response to pain.


I beg to differ


So whoever you are,

I think you are too precious for that ending

I choose to believe that your life is sacred

is treasured

is valued

is needed

You are worthy of breath

of space

of life


And I will do all I can

to live a life

that is worthy of you knowing

how special

how fragile

how unique

and how







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